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Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
Today has me seriously evaluating my policy of not drinking on the job.
If this world got any smaller I`d probably fall off - George T. Ignace
take me drunk i`m home
Nothing says “I don’t give a sh!t” like a Hawaiian shirt.
I need to stop making things more complicated than they need to be. I`m adding that to my bucket Power Point presentation.
I get worried when someone posts a kitten pic with a foreign language, I don`t know if they`re showing a cute kitty pet or their dinner.
There should be an energy drink named 6 AM child
I was fighting with this guy over who`s lazier. I let him win.
My doctor is concerned about my high blood pressure. I told him, next time, don`t leave me sitting in the waiting room for two hours.
I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.
thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
I swear on this f*cking chicken I will never swear again. Oops.
When asked how I take my coffee, I reply with, "Seriously. Very seriously."
There is no such things as ghosts. I know, I asked Santa Claus