Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band..
Sometimes I speak in a different font but no one ever notices.
Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.
"I really should buckle down and get my rap album going"-Me, every time I drink
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old...
I`m single by choice. Not MY choice. But it`s still a choice
My number one rule to live by is: Don’t die.
I don`t know if I should tip the bathroom attendant, or charge for letting him watch...
Why is it that whenever I have to turn around in a strange driveway, I feel like they`re gonna come running out with pitchforks and torches?
I`m fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
If we start calling it `potato juice`, Vodka becomes a health drink. RIGHT?
The zoo basically has two modes. 1. Lazy sleepy animals. 2. Hard core porn
You find my yoga pants distracting ... would you like me to take them off?
Being a Zombie doesn`t sound that bad. You don`t have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now.
My favorite thing to do on Facebook is to get in a long conversation with someone and then delete all my comments so they look crazy.