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I go to McDonald`s once a month just to replenish the napkin stash in my car
The real problem with this generation is that the cartoons suck.
Whenever someone tries to get too friendly with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to remind them of where we stand.
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Is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep?
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my credit card goes through
Still haven`t answered my life`s calling... I`ve always just assumed it dialed the wrong number.
The kids left w/my parents for a week. I plan to run around the house for an hour yelling "woo hoo", but after that my schedule is wide open
The zoo basically has two modes. 1. Lazy sleepy animals. 2. Hard core porn
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
I bet if there were little basketball hoops above every garbage can, littering would greatly decrease.
The closest I`ve come to camping was that one time when I fell asleep in the bushes outside your window with my camera.
I`m glad that we as humans settled on the hand shake as a greeting instead of the whole ass sniffing thing.
The sad part about seeing any shopper at Walmart with a blue tooth, is that normally it is that shopper`s only tooth.
It`s nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he`s getting hit by a train.