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I’ve found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock, people expect less of you.
20 years from now, one of the hardest things our kids will be faced with is finding a screen name which is not already taken!
Some people are more confused then a chameleon in a packet of Skittles.
Doctor: How is your headache? Me: She is fine.
SPOILER ALERT for "Finding Bigfoot" TV show - they don`t find him. Again.
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person. ..apparently they call THAT stalking.
Do you like me? Breathe for yes, lick your elbow for no.
Too bored to do nothing. Too lazy to do anything.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
they say winning doesnt matter then why they had kept scores
Does "who cares" count as advice?
I’m planning on ringing the new year in with a kiss ... whether my dog likes it or not.
A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn`t eat.
The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since `pro` is the opposite of `con` we should call it prosti..... oh wait.
Can you LIKE this status with your elbow? (no cheating)