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World Cup Soccer? If I wanted to watch someone struggle to score for 90 minutes, I`d go watch some of my single friends at the bar.
Don’t text and drive. You don’t want “lol” to be the last thing you say before you die.
I was thinking earlier, thats all, just wanted everyone to know that it does happen from time to time........
I`m constantly bombarded with requests to check out `Candy Crush`… well I`ve spent hours searching the porn networks… I can`t bloody find her!
Detroit and Chicago seem to be getting it right as of late. Limit all politicians to two terms. One in elected Office and one in prison.
I`m so broke, if somebody tried to rob me right now, they would just be practicing.
Key to a great marriage ... Lack of imagination.
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
Just watched The Grey. The wolves left half the Mexican .. to spicy??
Had another daydream where I`m doing the mexican hat dance and CIA guys watching me from satellites are dancing along in their control room
Don`t you wish it was as easy to adjust the brightness level on people as it is on your phone?
Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario & how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream.
"No! Don`t leave me! I need you! Nooooo!" I say as my laptop cords slowly slides off my bed onto the floor.
My dad use to take me to the circus to see the clowns, freakshows and the bearded lady. Now... I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.
I’m glad to know that we will never have to worry about a lack of weathermen. I mean, I know at least a couple dozen on Facebook.