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first show me the benefits and then I`ll decide if we can be friends.
My friend works at the morgue and apparently tonight is open mike night.
I`m already getting into the Thanksgiving spirit, I`ve given the bird to lots of people today.
You can stay, but your clothes must go.
One day we the women will rap the men lets see how they like it!
The new neighbors moved in today. I brought them a box of condoms to show how much I don`t want anymore children living on our street.
Sad Fact- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.
I’ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn’t need my assistance, so I’m going back to bed.
If your dog loves hanging his head out the window of the car as you are driving, but growls when you blow in his face, you may need a breath mint.
Adding “and sh!t” to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
I wonder if Batman knows that other cities have crime, too.
You don`t have to be crazy to work here ... We`ll train you.
When Life rains on your parade, get out the Slip-n-Slide.
Here`s hoping the wind at your back doesn`t come from the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch. Happy St. Patrick`s Day!
People who say "I hate to bother you" need to learn to hate it a little bit more.