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I`m one more bottle of wine away from starting a blog.
A sofa is a vacation for your a$$...
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
I know it`s rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you`re unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me
It’s fun to pull someone’s leg… but don’t ever pull their finger.
The unplanned moments tend to be the best ones.
The "best part of waking up" doesn`t even make sense.
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
Winning isn`t everything. Rubbing it in the face of your opponent is also important.
It`s so awkward when you get texted to come over and you have to pretend like you weren`t already inside their house.
The more I drink the better my Idea`s seem to get.
I`m not saying I`m out of shape but I just stretched, got winded, and need to lie down
If couples who are in love are called `love birds.` Then couples who always argue should be called `angry birds.`
I hate when people passive-aggressively post vague, indirect statuses. You know who you are...
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.