Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
You see I, I´ve raise a toast to all of us. Who are breakin´ our backs everyday. If wantin´ the good life is such a crime. Lord, then put me away, yeah, here´s to you
Offering a homeless dude $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
Learned today that it`s about 12 min after realizing there`s no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are.
Chess says everything about men and women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
Time flies when you`re throwing watches.
I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you`re mistaken ...its pronounced sexy
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
A hot woman telling me about her boyfriend is like setting money on fire in front of a homeless person.
ever notice that on a phone the word "mom" is 666?
My new dating profile just says "I`m tired of masturbating."
It`s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches...
The one who laughs last is the slowest. The one who laughs first has the dirtiest mind.
You`re right, vodka. This is the perfect time to use a hammer.
"Based on a true story" means it happened more or less like this, but with ugly people.