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Some girls are so desperate. Who calls 3 times, leaves a voicemail, and sends a text?? Take a hint, mom.
Turns out fantasy football is nothing like I thought it would be. Anyone interested in a naughty quarterback outfit? Serious inquiries only.
Haters gonna hate, your honor
Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I`ve only done that with pizza
I dance like people wish they weren`t watching.
You`re about 8 beers away from being my type.
I eat tacos over a tortilla so that way when stuff falls out Boom another taco.
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot ... I didn`t even know I had a wife.
Trying to achieve the perfect erection. How hard could it be?
They told me to never give up. Now they call me a stalker.
Well that’s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I’m doing
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
People with kids, your posts are all the birth control I need.
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
If the government shutdown effected alcohol or internet porn they`d have this sh!t fixed by tomorrow morning.