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It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them......the police call it indecent exposure but whatever.
I am the reason why Waldo is hiding.
I’m in my dentist’s waiting room practicing my lies about flossing.
I will not let people drive me crazy because I know it`s in walking distance.
Just took a shower. You have no idea how hard it was to sneak that thing out of Home Depot.
Multitasking? I’m not even good at unitasking.
If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca`s third dog.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
I love sleep ... it’s like a Time Machine to Breakfast.
Hawaii is a great place to live if you hate being eligible for contests.
My favorite thing around the holidays is being put into a group message with 200 people reply "Who`s This"
Ladies, wonder if he`s busy or ignoring your texts? Offer to send nudes. If he instantly responds, he was totally ignoring you before.
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..
My friend bought some new floral underwear today. I asked her why she bought `floral` underwear to which she replied "its in memory of all the faces that have been buried there".
Just because she weighed as much as two women doesn`t mean you had a threesome