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I’m not a marketing expert. But if I was selling milk, the cartons would be boob shaped.
So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.
Do you ever just get a random burst of motivation to clean your house, write a novel, paint a masterpiece or read a book ... Yeah, me neither.
"No! Don`t go into the church! Nooo!" ... "Honey, what movie are you watching?" ... "Our wedding video."
That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there`s no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
Why do they have “limited edition” scented candles? Are there crazy people collecting these things?
Calories: Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter each night.
Procrastinators Unite!! ... tomorrow.
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
If you pour two beers in one glass, it`s just one beer.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.
I wish I had a job where I could punch stupid motherf*ckers in the face all day.
I rather be a known drunk, than an Anonimous Alcoholic
If you didn`t want me looking in your bedroom than you never should have put your window at the same height as my ladder.