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A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
When I say “the other day” I could mean yesterday or 5 years ago there’s no in between.
Change is hard. Seriously have you ever tried to bite a nickel?
Maybe Voldemort`s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
If aliens ever attack, I hope they do it in rows of 8, going right and left directly above me. I`m very skilled at shooting aliens this way
My tricks aren`t for kids.
The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did, she began running so I did, she screamed so I did. I never even saw what we were running from.
Dear Maytag: Why don`t your dryers have a Fold cycle? It`s 2018 for chrissake!
You know it’s going to be a bad day when your horoscope starts with… “Are you sitting down?”
I hate it when I think I`m buying organic vegetables and I get home to discover they`re just regular doughnuts.
Why is it the less money someone makes the better they are at reproducing?
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
Nothing says "under the thumb" like a joint Facebook account
You don`t know true competition until you`re one of the last two people in musical chairs.