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one of the Olsen twins got married earlier today! when the fiance was asked "which one???" he replied "who cares???"
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
Who do you have to sleep with around here to sleep with someone around here?!
Anyone else ever thought about farting into one of those plastic cylinders at the bank drive-thru?
You`ve really got to hand it to short people, because sometimes they often can`t reach it.
If I wasn`t supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn`t have made it taste so good with orange juice.
I can`t wait to get all liquored up, and then go door-to-door to sing some Christmas Carols when it starts to warm up in April...
Whoever said "sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you" has obviously never been hit with a dictionary.
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
A young man gets sent to jail,and gets put into a jail cell with a convict the size of the Incredible Hulk. After lights out, he hears a whisper from the top bunk."Let`s play Mommy and Daddy. Who do you wanna be?" Thinking quick, the man says "daddy." "Then come up here and suck Mommy`s d!ck."
For the life of me, I can’t understand why small and medium pizzas exist.
Taco Tuesday sends a terrible message to our nation`s children. They need to know that tacos are always an option no matter what day it is.
Arm wrestling is DEFINITELY the manliest sport where Two dudes hold hands...
is at the park. Unless you’re my boss, in which case, I’m at work.