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Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
Smile, it confuses people. ;)
Don`t blame me. You`re the one following a 41 year old man who just jumped into his bed like an Olympic athlete because scary monsters.
It`s tough being a people person when you can`t stand most people.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
I am not judging you...I already decided I don`t like you
Ladies, if you want men to look at your face and not your chest, eat a banana.
Although tequila is highly toxic, it can be used to dissolve the friend zone.
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet.
Words and phrases I hope do not appear in my obituary: "Skeletal remains", "Dumpster", "Beyond recognition", "Decapitated", "Dental records", "Shallow grave", "Strewn", and "Suicide by Cop."
Currently training for when they inevitably make drinking an Olympic sport.
Did you ever wonder why the cat was in the bag in the first place?
Doctor told me to lose some weight, and suggested walking.So no more drive through taco bell. Now I park 5 spaces away and walk in
I am a gentleman, based on the clubs I go to.