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Don`t talk to me about disappointment. I had lots of adults tell me they were gonna "fix my little red wagon" yet here it sits with a broken wheel still
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?
Just in: Chinese people confirm they were just messing with us with chopsticks. "You guys look like dumb idiots lol" says one Chinese guy
Reminiscing isn’t as fun as it used to be.
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
My wife just opened a jar of pickles by herself and I can`t help but think that my days around here are numbered...
I have officially bought the first batch of Halloween candies that will not make it to Halloween.
It`s almost 2014, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
Ebay is really getting worse and worse to use. Yesterday I searched for a cigarette lighter. I got 3,974, 601 matches...
My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. Its a cool feature but I didn`t think the LOL was necessary.
A real ice cream truck would have melted by now.
Batman had the bat signal. If you need to get my attention, hold a Roast Beef Sandwich over a floor lamp and aim it at my apartment.
Eww!!! Beer does NOT taste good on Cocoa Puffs! ..I`m switching back to my Fruit Loops! ;)
Why get married? Just pick a girl you hate and buy her a house.