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My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
Behind every strong woman is a man that she needs to open jars and get things off high shelves.
The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe.
I go to McDonald`s once a month just to replenish the napkin stash in my car
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
Very excited to announce I`m on the market and actively looking for someone new to make me miserable
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
What if dreams are just glimpses of alternate universes?
Lying about my age is easier now that I have trouble remembering what it is.
Today is "find your active cavity at 50% off" day at your local store.
i hate it when other people hate the person i hate!!!
A fun thing to do when leaving the Zoo, is too start frantically running and yelling "OMG they`ve all escaped!"
I look at you and think "why has no-one hit you with a shovel yet?"
If it wasn`t for pizza delivery, you wouldn`t see me shoveling a walkway.