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Women don`t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think.
The most common name In China is Chang, correct me if you think it’s Wong.
Please excuse me for talking while you were interrupting.
I like to friend friends of friends then unfriend the first friend to freak out the friend of a friend.
I`ve been married to my wife 10 years today. Having sex with just one person in 10 years is pure dedication. I don`t know how she does it.
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
Joggers always give each other a little nod when they pass, just like fat guys in a buffet line.
If we start calling it `potato juice`, Vodka becomes a health drink. RIGHT?
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon
How about a cooking show called "Cookin crap in the Microwave".
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not a flow chart?
There`s a time and a place for non-alcoholic beer. Never, and down the drain.
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and hold on, are those nuts?
Given enough coffee, I believe I could rule the world.
Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?