Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Children fill a void in your life that you never knew existed. And promptly destroy everything else.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
I bet aliens would visit us more if Will Smith didn`t punch them in the head as soon as they got here.
To ensure you never cut yourself while chopping vegetables, get a friend to hold the vegetable.
I didn`t give you the finger...you earned it.
I got this weird condition where I drink a case of beer and fall down.
One day, people are gonna write songs about the nap I`m about to take.
I`m starting to get that "f*ck it" attitude about everything..
Look in the mirror and tell me that God does not have a sense of humor.
The list of things I won’t eat if covered in chocolate gets smaller everyday.
The only thing us men clean at home is our browser history
Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It`s not me, but I`m sure someone does...
I remember the days when I could refer to my knees as right and left. Now I refer to them as the good and bad knee.
I wish that just once, the clerk would just put the Monopoly money in the drawer and hand me a receipt
My boss yelled at me today “It’s the fifth time you’ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!” I said, “Probably that it’s Friday?"...