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“Let me rephrase this question so I can get pissed off at you all over again.” - WOMEN
I am not acting childish and you`re just a big doody-head.
Only 2 phrases can change a woman’s mood: ”I Love You” and ”50% Off”.
No one is ever bored enough to start studying.
The cat seems really pissed off. He must have only had 22 hours sleep.
My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.
Answering my phone and saying... FBI fraud division. Has really cut down on the telemarketers.
Werewolves tend to transform only upon noticing a full moon already in the sky, implying the affliction is 100% psychological.
ever notice that on a phone the word "mom" is 666?
24 hours in a day.. 24 beers in a case.. coincidence?
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
Learn to fight like you`re the third monkey trying to get on the Ark!
I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit.
You call it Sushi, I call it bait.
"you failed just as much as your dads condom."