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How do they put the "do not walk on the grass" signs up?
Let`s run away together.. Lol jk, I don`t run anywhere.
I support recycling, I wore this shirt yesterday.
I try to avoid things that make me fat, like scales, mirrors, and photographs.
When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, "no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."
In all my years, I have never finished a pencil.
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
I don`t always say I`m never drinking again, but when I do, I`m a f*cking liar.
My New Years Resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic...I wonder how long this bull$hit fantasy will last.
I only use elevators for one thing. Surprise group hugs
This beer sure tastes like I`m on vacation next week!
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
*calling pizza place* "Hello?" Your pizza tastes like cardboard "Are you sure you`re not eating the box again?" *long pause* *click*
It must suck when billionaires wake up feeling like a million bucks.
There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?