Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Running on two hours of sleep I’m either way too happy or violently homicidal.
I’ve found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock, people expect less of you.
Shout out to Pringles for never giving us a half can of air.
When I was kid, I... No wait, I still do that.
On the bright side, all that coal will keep me warm this winter.
Someday we’ll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
Ironing boards are just surf boards that gave up their dreams and got real jobs.
If you were born after 1990, you will never know the frustration of having to rewind your parents porn tapes to the exact same spot...
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is not working.
Sometimes the fact that bacon exists is enough.
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn`t met me yet
OK so i have an idea ............... wait why are you all running away?