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I really would love to see two mimes arguing.
It’s proving very difficult to find a shop selling “Left Guard” for my other armpit…
My sister told me I was not allowed to babysit anymore. Apparently the baby monitor is not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby`s ankle.
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
I know it`s rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you`re unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me
Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.
Every cigarette you smoke takes 5 minutes off your student loan debt.
Don`t forget to get offended today by some retarded sh!t that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever.
thinking men should come with a carfax....
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I’m making important life decisions.
McDonalds ... closing thigh gaps since 1967.
Know why girls cross their arms when they`re angry? Boobs. Just a little reminder of who`s in charge around here.
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
Note to self: Thanks for always being there.
Since light travels faster than sound, isn`t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?