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Ziploc`s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different than mine.
Meetings are 20% small talk, 5% what the meeting is about and 75% wasting everyone’s time.
Selfie... Because it`s important to realize that it`s not the photographer who is making you look ugly.
That moment when you put your pants on, take a few steps, and feel something crawling down your leg! You grab it on the outside so it doesn`t crawl any further....and then you sigh in relief and thank God the dryer sheet doesn`t bite!
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
Life is what happens when you’re not looking at a screen.
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
I can`t fall asleep because I am too excited for Christmas
If you have trouble getting your children`s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
What would I give the woman who has everything? Well, my phone number for a start.
My nickname at work is "HR wants to see you"
I don`t want to brag, but I`m single-handedly responsible for 86% of the rules in the Employee Handbook at work.