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Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
I never forget a breast, I mean face. I never forget a face.
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
“Taking candy from a baby” would actually be a responsible thing to do.
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
My brother didnt take kindly to jail. He refused food & drink, and smeared feces on the walls. That`s the last time we`re playing Monopoly.
Facebook should just change it`s name to "People You May Want to Avoid."
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
Wait, whaddya mean... cookie dough can be baked? Seriously?
You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
Alarm clocks should come with sounds like "tiny doll feet scampering into the closet" because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that.
I don`t like morning people ... Or mornings ... Or people.