Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The discharge paperwork at the hospital seems to be expedited a little quicker if you roam up and down the hall with the back of your hospital gown untied.
Never do I feel as lazy and rude as when someone else in the room is vacuuming.
We should do this β3-day weekendβ thing more often.
Do bees even have knees?
Alcohol is never the answer. Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?"
Eat whatever you want,and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight ...Eat them too..!
just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die." IΒ΄m pretty surprised "yell for help" wasnΒ΄t one of them.
My downstairs neighbor thinks I`m a little creepy and that I overstep my bounds. At least that`s what she wrote in her diary.
The hour that we lose this weekend is the one that I was planning on going to the gym.
I sometimes check my blocklist to see how my prisoners are doing
I`m so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn.
scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status
Hey baby, wanna come to myspace and twitter my yahoo `till i google all over your facebook?
I just put Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.
To Do: Figure out how to get paid to travel the world and eat.