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Trust me, you want me medicated!!
I didn`t get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.
People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics...So glad I found you all.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I`m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
I make way more decisions than I should based on the battery life of my phone.
I`m feeling about as useful as a stoplight in Grand Theft Auto.
I`m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering every question!!!
If you ever need nothing I am here for you.
I think Facebook is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks.
I went for a 6 mile run tonight. The police are getting in much better shape these days.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I`m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
My level of sarcasm has reached a dangerous level where even I don`t know if I`m kidding or not.
If I was gonna make a bomb, I`d use the same color wire for the whole thing.
My life coach just informed me that I didnt make the team