Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wisdom is understanding that a tomato is a fruit, but you don`t add it in a fruit salad.
Birthdays back then: Wow! Look at all these presents!. Birthdays now : Wow damn look at all these notifications!.
someone took my mood ring away... dont know how i feel about it
Gatorade always has athletes in their commercials sweating and working hard. They really should target their real consumer. A Fat guy on the couch nursing a hangover. Is it in you?
Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
I was struggling,trying to figure out how lightning works .....then it struck me!
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
slugs are snails that are going through a divorce
Whenever I hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded I do one of my raps because I`m too poor to pay for studio time
Save electricity! Would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?
How can I go to sleep when this movie I’ve seen 70 times just started?
More people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol at my house may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
I pretend my bruises are sex bruises instead of I tripped over my cat while trying a new dance move bruises.