Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Of all the things I have lost in life I mis my mind the most
I heard someone say their podcast was on "hiatus", guess that sounds better than "my mom took away my laptop".
You should probably first master the art of thinking β€œinside” the box
Computer froze? Just press all the keys.
Nobody’s phone is ever off. They’re lying.
Saying β€œdo I smell popcorn ” right after you fart, so everyone takes in a deep breath.
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."
If we start calling it `potato juice`, Vodka becomes a health drink. RIGHT?
One great thing about life before the internet was if you met someone, you didn`t then have to know them the rest of your life.
If money cant buy happiness,explain beer!
I`ll bet I`m the only one in this grocery store with "sh!t for tacos" on my shopping list.
I went to the doctor for a check up and he says I`m going to live. But I think he`s wrong and it`s just a matter of time.
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
How come dogs aren’t ticklish?
If you`re not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you`re probably boring.