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For those of you wondering what it`s like to be married, I`m on day 3 of an argument I didn`t know I was having.
Does anyone have the recipe for ice cubes? Asking for a friend.
My advice for pretty much anything that`s broken is "did you try and jiggle it?".
If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
You don’t have to be naked to have a good time, but it helps.
Sticks and stones, break my bones, but hollow points expand on impact!
I`m drinking like there`s snow tomorrow.
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
ME- I love it when you lay me down like that, the way you touch my belly and put cold things on me baby DOCTOR- Miss this is a medical examination and you are making me extremely uncomfortable
Dont freeze your Common sense in the process of being COOL.
"When I grow up, I want to marry a man addicted to video games" ~ No woman ever.
Hash browns not tags.
If you`re "just sayin", then just shut the hell up.
Is there really a need for constipation medicines and stool softeners in a world where burritos and tacos exist?