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It just dawned on me why Mayberry was so peaceful and quit, cause nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T Bass, The Darlins, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara. The only one married was Otis, and he stayed drunk!
The naughty me makes the nice me giggle.
I have a feeling my check liver light will come on this weekend
It`s a little disappointing when you`re watching a school basket ball game & no one turns into a werewolf.
Plan B includes margaritas.
"5 React 2 Gum-- Experiences may vary. Stimulate your senses!"-- Same effect as LSD, but chewier.
Few things are creepier than someone saying "I know" after you introduce yourself.
"mommy watch this!" is the toddler equivalent of "hold my beer and watch this"
I bet it’s pretty hard at a mime’s funeral to figure out when the moment of silence is over.
How do people dumb enough to buy $500 sunglasses make enough money to buy $500 sunglasses?
so apparently there is no such thing as a St Patrick`s Santa and I`m not sure whose lap I just sat on at the mall.
Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
Waterfalls are a beautiful, majestic sight as they pour down upon the rocky crags below. Unless you`re in a canoe and about to plummet to your death. Then waterfalls sorta suck.
when in Rome get naked ;)
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren`t we helping to find them?