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I like to finish all of my drive thru orders with, "And that`s for here."
You look over-medicated. What`s your doctor`s name?
Okay so the pregnant woman in the library didn`t get my `overdue` joke.
finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you procrastinate.” I said, “Oh ya…..Just you wait.....”
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders.
Have you ever been cutting a piece of pager with scissors and worried that you might cut an atom in half and destroy the world?
I live in a madhouse, ruled by a tiny army, that I made myself
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?
Monday?! But, I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.
Billion dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell "I`m just cooking!"
Remember....... Its not drinking alone if you`re on Facebook ;)