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Never take advice from someone more miserable than you are.
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
Don`t you love followers that don`t acknowledge your existence. Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world.
It’s fun to pull someone’s leg… but don’t ever pull their finger.
This post is just for you.
You`re never too old to throw random sh*t in people`s shopping carts when they aren`t looking.
Sweetie, if your gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty!
So much to do and so few alibis.
Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.
I need to find new reward systems besides beer and chocolate.
You never know what you have until you clean your room.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was big white bear with no sexual preference.
Remember when mowhawks meant you were a tough punk rocker? Now they just mean that you`re 3 and your parents are idiots.
Neil Armstrong was the first human being to step foot on the moon. Neil A. backwards spells "Alien"