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It only takes a second to show a person how much you feel about them. The police call it indecent exposure, but whatever...
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I`d probably pick living.
"Grow a pear." - How to insult an apple tree.
It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today in my local cemetery I came across the grave of Arthur Wynne the inventor of the crossword puzzle. For those that want to know where he is buried it`s 6 down and 4 across.
If Facebook changed "poke" to "stab" I would use it all the time.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed, it ruled.
All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips. ^^
So many Jehovah`s Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah`s Evidence.
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
Whenever I select next-day delivery for an online purchase, I imagine someone, somewhere, yells "CODE RED, CODE RED" really loud then people scurry like mad.
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole. jk
I was going to buy my first pair of Jordans.. Until I saw the price.. So I decided to make a car payment instead!
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those medications.
No matter how stupid you feel, remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn`t figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn`t her grandmother.