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Hey, Dude who flips me off for honking at him in the parking lot, your groceries are on top of your car.
A synonym is a word you use when you can`t remember how to spell the other word.
I can`t get the cork off my dinner.
I`m a wealth of knowledge ... Unless you want it to be true, then I`m pretty solid on about 6 topics ... 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors
Somehow the talk went a little wrong with my 7 year old and now he`s convinced that birds have sex with bees and now he won`t eat honey.
I’m pretty busy today, so if you could just go ahead and offend yourself for me that would be great. Thanks!
Please accept this bundle of fragrant plants grown expressly to be killed while in their prime as a token of my love for you.
You have your whole life to be an a$$hole...are you trying to use it all up in one day?
F*ck It - My final thought before making decisions.
Redneck Term Of Thee Day-Wisdom: "Mah bruther had him some kidney stones, but he wisdom out!"
90% of the apps on my phone don’t do anything except send me notices that there’s a new version of itself.
Talk to me long enough and you`ll realize why I`m single.
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.
Oh the weather outside is frightful, And this booze is damn delightful
I try and inspire at least one person everyday to leave me the f*ck alone.