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*licks finger, holds it up in the air* ah yes, just as I suspected. wind.
I just realized that if we drink enough wine, the adult`s table will become the kid`s table.
Apparently slim chance and fat chance have the same meaning.
Day 1. I am thankful that I haven`t fallen into the trap of Facebook thankful status updates.
WANTED: Someone to follow me around and whisper "You`re an adult" every few minutes.
exercise........you mean extra fries
It’s what people don’t know about each other that makes them such good friends.
Eventually, the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphics.
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
4/20? More like 1/5. Stupid stoners forgot how to reduce their fractions.
I hate it when people dont know the differece between Ur and U`r
The most impressive thing about how cowboys used to have showdowns at high noon is that they could get two people to be on time to something
Divorce is what happens when two people win an argument.
You know what I just realized that in school they teach you not to do what you don`t want to do yet they still give us homework and we get in trouble because we didn`t want to do it ( confused )
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don’t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!