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I feel like being that guy that gets upset when people use the term "straight A`s". "Fabulously flawless A`s" sounds much better.
I hate it when I walk through a metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off.
Its never polite to ask the guy at the next table "are you done with that?" Especially when he`s breaking up with his girlfriend.
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
If youβre having second thoughts, youβre two ahead of most people.
I`m glad I`ve got boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
What idiot decided it should be my foot`s asleep instead of coma toes?
I guess I need to buy some new drink coasters because I finally ran out of AOL free trial CDs.
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice
A nice kid in the park informed me smoking was bad for you. So I popped his balloon with my cigarette and told him so was talking to strangers.
If I ever start a band, I`m going to call it The Voices in My Head. Think of all the fun ways you can tell other people what you`re listening to...
The βSlow Children Playingβ signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?
I wish real life had as many ejection seats as cartoons.
I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)