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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
That awkward moment when there`s not a single awkward moment
Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
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New Subway rule: You must give the person in front of you a wedgie if they take more than 5 seconds to choose what kind of bread they want.
Saw a Mime doing his gig. I reached into my purse and pretended to throw money in his hat.
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
Feeding my kid cold pizza. They will be off to college soon and preparation is the key to success.
Shoutout to this ATM fee for making me buy my own money.
Dear Kelloggs, Cereal that makes them go back to sleep. Sincerely, Tired parents
So many Jehovah`s Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah`s Evidence.
To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon
Nothing says "under the thumb" like a joint Facebook account
I`m going to stop off at the fabric store before my next status to get some new material!