Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
Sure, Men love funny women. As long as they are pretty...and skinny...and they have a great pair of knockers!!
Facebook is like a fridge. When you`re bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there`s anything good in it
My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No it doesn`t."
Why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo? Who has hair on their shoulders? Who`s shampooing their shoulder hair? ... please come forward.
They should paint the bottom of swimming pools with satellite photos so it feels like you’re flying.
Did you ever stop to think that maybe vodka is addicted to ME?
“Can we talk tomorrow?” is my way of saying “I’ll try to do a better job of avoiding you tomorrow?”
just bought 400 copies of Hoarders: Season 1. Not sure what to do with them.
I painted a banner for our annual family picnic, but my Mom thought "Celebrating 100 Years of Undiagnosed Mental Illness" was inappropriate.
Hey ladies, tired of your man complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints.
I`d rather SH!T in my hands and clap!
Texting while sitting at a stop light: Helping save lives every day by preventing T-bone collisions with drivers who run red lights. Because of that extra minute it takes for you to realize that the light has turned green, the driver who has no regard for the safety of others entering the intersection legally, can now safely clear the intersection without causing a collision. For this, we thank you.
It`s nice to feel wanted. Even if it`s by the FBI.