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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

A bee will knowingly risk its own life just to cause you a little pain. I can totally relate to that feeling.
I`ve eaten enough chinese food in my day that my fortune cookies have started to contradict one another
I built that beach a sandcastle. Beaches love sandcastles.
If cats had wings, they would still just lay there.
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself" -- 5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
It only takes a second to show someone how you feel. The police call it β€œIndecent Exposure” but whatever.
I guess at a job interview "firing you" is not an acceptable answer when asked where I see myself in a few years.
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they`d lock us up?
I need a fixed income. Mine is broken.
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it.. So now I have to live in constant fear.. O_o
Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.
Snails would be terrifying if they moved quickly.
A friend suggested I see a therapist but the truth is, I like being f*cked up.
The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn`t even apply for a job.