Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
Don`t sweat the small stuff. Don`t sweat the medium or large stuff either. Stop perspiring on everything. Take your sweaty a$$ elsewhere.
There’s no question about it, the second half of the tank of gas goes twice as fast as the first!
I can’t hang out tonight because I’m done with people for the day.
I bet Snowmen think it`s weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin.
50 notifications later I regret ever commenting on your status.
When a girl says she wants you to splurge on her, calm down, it`s not what you think...
"I knew that..." -Me, after every Jeopardy question.
Paying a homeless man to pee on your ex`s windshield, is just about the most fun you can have with 5 bucks.
Boy: "Life`s a bitch, so is my Girlfriend." Girlfriend: "Life`s short, so is his d!ck.
Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
The best trick the devil ever pulled was calling herself "him".
Truthfully, I`d like you all a whole lot better if you were bacon.
"Someday, your phone will cost more than your computer" - said no one ever.