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I`m not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
Lady: what Colour are my eyes? Man: 34D
What if plants could talk but they are still in shock from seeing the dinosaurs?
Today`s Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone
I will be back in 5 minutes, if I am not then please read this again! :D
Today is "find your active cavity at 50% off" day at your local store.
I always give my extra money to Charity. She is usually on the main stage around 11pm.
Firemen, Astronauts, and Doctors are the only people who actually followed through on what they wanted to be when they grew up.
I can`t believe that it`s the year 2012, and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald`s Playland ball pit
Even if gas prices go down, I´m still going to siphon gas from my neighbor´s car because I like the adrenaline rush and he´s an a$$hole
Kim and Kanye have been married WAY longer then I expected.
My doctor recommended I increase the amount of Greens in my diet...so I started drinking more Rolling Rock.
What`s the opposite of wanting to hear about you doing crossfit? I`m that.