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People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse."
Things I didn`t learn in high school... how to pay bills buy a house apply for college but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
I don`t like thinking before I say something. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth
Hey all you parents who recently named your kid Jax, We get it you`re unoriginal and watch SOA ... Hold on my daughter Grey`s Anatomy is crying.
The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.
Facebook- to help future generations discover if there`s ever been any mental illness in the family.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend.......who`s in with me?
China has largest population not because the men are extra horny nor women are extra fertile but because... Their condoms are made in China.
How can I learn to be more patient? (I`m only interested in quick-fix solutions with immediate results please)
I don’t have a problem with friends who ask to borrow money. I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.
you know you have a kid personality when you think step brothers is the greatest movie ever.
She calls it cuddling. I call it strategic body placement for the war of the covers that is about to take place.
I have always wanted to start a brand of Christian themed lollipops and call them Catho-licks.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can`t make coffee.
If a dwarf smokes weed does he get high or medium?