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You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets.
Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called “Identity Theft”.
Who`s further now, the Energizer Bunny or Voyager 1?
I eat tacos over a tortilla so that way when stuff falls out Boom another taco.
Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ... no matter how magnificent they look.
I finally figured out how to get rid of that annoying sound in my car. I opened the door and pushed her out!!
The first thing I do when I get a telemarketer call is say "Let`s go off script. What are you wearing?"
If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.
Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
I’m home alone. Time to start my concert.
Walmart has their new Savings Catcher app... I`m thinking savings isn`t the only thing you will catch ...
I`m so out of shape, Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me.
The Bishop came to our church today, but I think he was an imposter. He never once moved diagonally.