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Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren’t invited to.
I get in this weird mood where I don`t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood `Awake`
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while waiting.
So it`s racist to call a team Redskins but it`s okay to call a restaurant Cracker Barrel ?
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra
Nice try "Private Caller", but I wont`t answer even if I know you.
If you`re gonna label the silica gel "do not eat", maybe you should label everything in the box. I almost ate a shoe before someone stopped me
Oh, you have a brand new boyfriend? Please tell me more about how you think he`s `the one`.
lifes like a box of chocolates, never know whatcha gonna get (:
You know what is cheaper than therapy? ... Admitting you`re batshit crazy and running with it.
If your online dating profile says "I don`t have sex on the first date" then that`s why you`re on a dating website.
Wonders why we can`t just all get a Long....Island Iced Tea?!?
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.