Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My RSVP : I`ll be attending your wedding alone but consuming enough cake and alcohol for at least two.
My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He`s told every other person on earth and I didn`t want y`all to be out of the loop.
I wish more people would give me the silent treatment.
The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
I don`t speak Spanish, but I`m pretty sure "Dora" means "annoying"
I got a lot more sleep back when phones were only used for calling people.
Sometimes I order fajitas at a restaurant just to get more attention.
I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
IMPORTANT REMINDER: Sunday is Mother`s Day, which means Facebook is gonna be annoying as crap...
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything... Well, my phone number for a start.
Alarm Clock(n): An evil device invented by Satan to disrupt the peaceful sleep of otherwise happy folks at a predetermined hour.
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to D!ck, Especially since his name is Steve.
I don´t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it`s all screaming and sh!t.