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Why is it that everyone you hate has such a better job than you?
There’s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
Did you know that if you light a candle under the moonlight and you say 3 times the name of the person you love, you will look really stupid doing that!
WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
My "Do Not Disturb" facial expression is not working today.
I bet blind people think farts are funnier than deaf people.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women hahaha
No, an erection is not considered personal growth.
I don`t understand when people say `age is just a number`... Age is clearly a word.
I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life`s mysteries, like how exactly does paper beat rock.
No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dog.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
If I was famous I would just knock on peoples doors and be like ... Hello, yes it`s me.
Not to brag, but I still owe Blockbuster $2.00 for not rewinding Weekend at Bernies.