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It’s called karma, and it’s pronounced “haha! Screw you!”
If a bra is called an `over the shoulder bolder holder`, then what would you call men underwear? Under the butt nut hut
Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack.
Coffee is nature’s way of saying “Go ahead, get drunk on a weeknight, I got your back!”
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
My dad says that if I don`t stop typing so loudly, he`s gonna slam my face into the fidbdiUHy6hivIifHfGK
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
Not to brag, but Netflix recommends certain movies just for me.
I haven`t lost all of my marbles but there is definitely a hole in the bag.
Do feminists look under their beds for the boogie woman?
A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work.
It`s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
These Days everything is really starting to Click!.......My knee`s, my elbows, and the rest of my joints!
Noise cancelling toilets should be a thing.
Donald Duck, saying screw you to pants since 1934.