Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why do we call it toilet paper? Does anyone wipe their toilet with it?
Dear Maytag: Why don`t your dryers have a Fold cycle? It`s 2018 for chrissake!
Sometimes not being in control is the most awesome feeling in the world.
Cashier: "Would you like to donate to charity today or are you a giant piece of sh!t?"
Just found out I`m pregnant. At least that`s what this expectant mother sign for my parking spot says.
Pizza: 73% delicious, 27% also delicious.
I`m optimistic that within my lifetime it will become acceptable to wear your underwear to the supermarket.
Paying a homeless man to pee on your ex`s windshield, is just about the most fun you can have with 5 bucks.
Really close to my perfect target weight. All I need now is one more stomach flu
Please ignore this status, I am standing alone and I don`t want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting
I think I’m going to take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it…
Adult movies now available in 3D?!? Some thing I just don`t want to see flying at my face.
It`s always best to fart when there`s a baby on the bus. They always get the blame.
Youth is wasted on the young.
At my age, my biggest fantasy is to sleep through the night without having to pee every two hours.