Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Where do suicide bombers go when they die? Everywhere.
If your roommate never walked in on you naked, you`re not naked near enough.
Exercise? More like extra fries.
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
One minute without you feels like 60 seconds.
There is no harm in imitating a porn movie. But stopping in between because you are imitating the buffering part (!), is unacceptable.
Is it wrong to swallow my multi-vitamin with a beer?
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let’s it go, and it hurts the one who held on.
It`s impossible to get a parking ticket if you don`t have windshield wipers.
Saw a boat with a sign that read "For Sale" so I added the missing "-ing"......Idiots can`t spell...
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but this is just gardening facts.
Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass and I`ll be just fine.
Liam Neeson trained Batman, Obi Wan, and Darth Vader. He is both Aslan and Zeus…and he punches wolves. Why would you kidnap his family?
A homeless man told me he hadn`t had a bite in weeks, so I bit him.
I don`t need a New Years Resolution, I`m already awesome!