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If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
How do you get to be that guy who waves the chopsticks at the the orchestra? I feel like I could do that.
I tried yoga once, but we called it Twister
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn´t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.
It`s possible you drank too much if you have to wait until your court appearance to find out what the hell happened that night
I wish my personality allowed me to write deep and meaningful statuses sometimes, oh well. Titties!
Admit it...Life yould be boring without me.
You have to hand it to Subway for convincing us it`s acceptable to eat an entire loaf of bread for lunch.
Just realized I have more in common with Garfield than I have with most people
I wonder if there are birds that prefer not to sing in the morning and that just roll around in their nests until noon.
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
Lord please give me the strength not to go all Dexter on this mother f%#*er ... Amen
Missed connection: you were washing your car in a bathing suit. I rode past your house 78 times. You threw a rock at me.
Women are like bacon, they smell great, taste delicious and kill you slowly. Men are like bacon because we`re pigs.