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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
Those 4 words that will get any girl into bed with you. `I won the lottery`.
I just burned 1200 calories ... I forgot the pizza in the oven again.
I`m now fit to make my regular annual resolution. The accomplishment is the problem
Currently in the planning stages for a hangover.
My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
No, I would not like to join your exclusive membership rewards club. Iām buying a sandwich.
I was all ears until you said something that sounded like advice.
I hate people who take drugs......like the police.
If I had a nickel for every time I`ve misplaced my keys, there`d be a jarful of money I would also have to look for
It`s amazing how different the phrases "alcohol free" and "free alcohol" are.
I prefer to think outside the box because things can get very dark inside it.
This spider just got away from me because I made the classic villain mistake of telling him my whole evil plan before killing him.
You find it offensive? ... I find it funny ... That`s why I`m happier than you.
I fake my lol`s