Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
There are 7 trillion nerves in the human body. Some people are capable of getting on every last one of them.
A slug is just a divorced snail.
Apparently, I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
Instead of having a child, I intend to spend my life acting like one.
I didn`t sleep well last night so this morning I made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water. Half way to work I realized I forgot my car.
Apparently dyslexia is not a good excuse for driving 53 in a 35.
Hard liquor because I don`t don`t have time or patience to sit around drinking 9 bottles of wine every day
Every time I lose some weight, I find it again in the refrigerator.
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!
Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?
I`m trying to lose weight by eating carrots and bran muffins. It`s a fiber-optics diet.
People say I`m too patronising (that means I treat them as if they`re stupid).
A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now how do you extract a fork from bone without causing more damage?
I can`t figure out why everyone calls me a smart-ass. Is it because I`m smart and have a great ass?