Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Lady at my gym is pedaling a stationary bike while eating chips right out of the bag. I`m hiring her as my personal trainer.
Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!
Call me faithless, but I just can`t believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower.
Happiness is using an ATM and finding a receipt left by someone with an account balance lower than yours.
I’d be much more interested in meeting people if I didn’t think most people were idiots.
Tired of those Political Ads on television?...... You may be entitled to compensation.
Waking up everyday seems a little excessive.
According to science the atoms in my body contain the energy of 30 hydrogen bombs, and yet, not enough energy to get up early and go jogging.
Don`t get me wrong, Chinese food is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe that a chicken fried this rice.
Just once I want someone to make a movie that’s sideways on the screen so I can watch it laying down without getting a kink in my neck.
If I were to quit my job today and become a psychic, I would advertise with a sign that reads, “Voted best psychic of 2016!"
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
When I rule the world, it will be illegal to have an opinion until you`ve proven that you are not an idiot.
Sometimes, my greatest accomplishment is just keeping my mouth shut.
Don´t you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn´t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop.