Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s really ironic that I mostly use my driver`s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive.
There is something so unique about me, that even I can`t figure it out...
First world problems: I couldn’t hear the TV so I had to stop eating chips.
Being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you
Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched.
I fart because it`s the only gas I can afford.
My head says go to the gym. My heart says food.
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
Hugh Hefner dead at age 91. With the amount of Viagra that guy must have been taking, good luck closing that casket lid.
I keep having this dream that I`m being carried off by a giant squirrel. Does that make me nuts?
So far,,, I`ve spent 300% of this week exaggerating.
The only beachfront property I`ll ever be able to afford is a sandcastle.
Do you really have to breath that much?
I had a very confident breakdown today. ...Wasn`t nervous at all. ;)
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.