Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today would be a great day to leave a note on a random car that says "I know what you did".
I am not cut out for the CIA. All the opposing side would have to do is tickle me and I’d spill all our nation’s secrets.
His idea of cleanliness is sweeping the room with a glance.
Sometimes I STOP when it`s not even Hammer time
My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle.
We should start seeing Valentine`s Day crap in the stores any minute now.
Office thermostats only have 2 settings: hell fire and hypothermia.
50 Shades of Laze - My weekend plans
The Internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for — in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
I was really pissed at my girlfriend for not calling me all day. Then I remembered she`s imaginary. So I`m good.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
Anyone else pretend to work all day while thinking about big boobs instead?
There`s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs.
Thanks for posting pics of what you had for dinner, the suspense was f*cking killing me.