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I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
Since you were smiling when you tazed me, I`m guessing we still have a chance.
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant
If your ever wondering who your real friends are all you have to do is delete your facebook account for about week without saying anything and see who calls
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
New Subway rule: You must give the person in front of you a wedgie if they take more than 5 seconds to choose what kind of bread they want.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
Stupidity should be painful...really!!!
If you need time alone, announce that it`s time to clean the house.
1st thing I do after great sex! Turn the alarm clock off.........
your status deserves a standing ovation but I`m lazy I`ll just click `like`
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
The little piggy who went to market... wasn`t going shopping. Wrap your mind around that for a moment.
Decided to get in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich!