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What sort of drug abuse and debauchery has to occur in someone`s life for them to start liking Charmin Toilet Paper on Facebook?
This Donut-Scented Car Air Freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
After visiting the gov`t healthcare site, I don`t know why I was so worried about their ability to spy on me...
I`d rather have my arms fall off than make two trips carrying in groceries.
Iām pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
When a pizza guy comes to my door, I like to answer wearing the same uniform as him and holding a pizza.....and then insist that he called me
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
I`m CDO. It`s like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!!
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you`re donating blood...
Thanks, autocorrect. I`m sure she`s dying to know about my huge peninsula.
When I die I`m going to go to heaven and God is going to be like nope, remember what you said on Facebook
Relationship status: Just got screamed at for peeling the carrots wrong.
We can land a rover on an asteroid, but they can`t make a can of shaving cream that doesn`t spill 1/10th of it`s contents after every use.
Me: I must be out of my mind. Me: You and me both.
Why do they call it "Jew-ish"? Are they not Jew enough?