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I love you with all my thighs. I would say my heart, but my thighs are much bigger.
Just because you think it`s a bad idea doesn`t mean we won`t have a good time.
I prefer to use the bathroom naked w/ the door wide open. Sorry if this interferes with your idea of a "safe & fun work environment"
Dad, I love how we don`t even have to say out loud that I`m your favorite. Happy Fathers Day!
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
Maybe it`s the washer and not the dryer that steals the socks.
I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet.... LOL
I`m great at spelling bees ... But hopless at spelling other words.
Scientist Proved That There are more Than 124786534688644478 People Living In This world who are Too Lazy To Read The Above Number...!!!
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low…Well, sure, it’s hard to steal a car when the owner’s living in it…
Why can`t Mosquitos suck Fat instead of Blood!
I`m a big advocate of the `You started it` method of defense in an argument.
There`s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she`s super hot trip on her high heels.
COLLEGE STUDENTS: if you`re looking for a job, your career center lists thousands of openings you don`t have enough experience for.
I`m no magician but I can walk down the street and turn into a bar!