Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna´ be a great day.
If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe`s poker table you`re too mature for me.
I don`t have ADHD. I have ADOLS. Attention deficit..OH LOOK! Skittles!
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
I`m not drunk ... But I`m working on it.
When I die, bury me with a pack of smokes, no light. Where I`m going, there will have plenty of free fires to light from.
Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/
Traffic would be awesome if we all drove hamster balls.
When life gives you lemons....throw them back and yell, "I wanted cookies!"
Show some cleavage on bad hair days.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....
Some people pass through our lives just to teach us not to be like them.
Whenever I think of a funny status I always get a pen and write it down so I can use it later, and if the pen is too far away I just convince myself that it wasn’t that funny anyway.
If you`re going to stalk me at least notice when I`m running low on toilet paper & change the roll.
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective