Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If you are offended by the things I post on FB you can only imagine the ones I don`t post.
And then her mood ring just...exploded
Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror naked just to remind myself what nobody`s getting.
Tenderizing the meat sounds a lot sexier than it is
Gym update: not there
I was shocked when I heard the local Radio Shack is closing. Mostly because I had no idea we had one.
Stole a cart from this woman at Walmart today. I like to think of it as playing grand theft auto suburbs edition.
If Apple really want to introduce something new and "innovative" they should just release a longer charger.
Never piss off a woman on her period...scratch that...Never piss off a woman, period.
is pondering why people have a favorite color M&M when they all taste the same!
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
I spend so much time on the internet, that the priest pronounced us husband and wi-fi.
If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over....you can make them here, because I want some too
The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions
Gee I wish I could push the envelope... But it`s stationary.