Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A cash bar on parent-teacher conference nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.
Somedays I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running.
Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it`s to be less of a nerd.
Alcohol free beer is like ... orgasm free sex
Even though I`m only 29, I know I`m going to die a bitter, lonely, miserable old man ... I`m married.
I read somewhere that we only use 10% of our brains. I wonder what the other half is for?
This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: “Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”
National no bra day wasn`t as successful as the creators had hoped. due to sagging attendants and lack of support.
Going to Walmart with my mom and kids is a great way to test if the Xanax is working!
My ex has had a really hard time moving on. From what I can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)
It’s amazing how everyone cries for free speech until someone says something that they don’t like.
"Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this."--MC Hammer giving a Museum tour
If everyone would just be naughty next year, Santa would bring us all coal ... energy crisis solved!
If you live up be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people… like claim you ate a pinecone every single day.