Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Happy 1 year anniversary to the Lean Cuisine in my freezer!
is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
Scientist say that universe is made up of Electrons, Protons and Neutrons...They forgot to mention MORONS...
There’s a bald spot in my yard so I’m gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over.
I realized that at my income level "Wealth Management" really just means re-organizing the money in my wallet by denomination.
God is creative... I mean look at me??
Sometimes I go on Google Earth and just spin the sh!t out of the world & pretend I`m making everyone really dizzy.
Beer doesn’t have that many vitamins in it…that’s why you have to drink a lot.
Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Mary, 3 to Claire and 2 to Elizabeth then what will you get? Me: 3 new girlfriends.
After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
I want to meet the guy whose complaint led to cashiers asking me if it`s okay if they put the receipt in my bag.
Just blew the sugar off my donut… Dieting is hard!
If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die.
Success is like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you were ****** before you got there.
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.