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Attempting to guilt me in to doing something, is the surest way to make sure it never happens.
I tend to say “I don’t know” when I’m too lazy to think.
I saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath.
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car.
Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
I`d offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
I’m not brave. I’m just past the age where running is an option.
When I`m in an elevator with a stranger I generally hold their hand to let them know that they`re safe
I heard she was born naked!! That slut!
Why can’t we all just get a Long Island Iced Tea?
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store clerk asked to come back soon?
Ever notice how it`s never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes?
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name "fire place"