Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn’t reach very far.
My imaginary friend is bullying me.
I f*cking hate you. Hope that clears things up.
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
Now that I`m turning 40, I need to be careful about what I eat and drink and make sure I am getting my nutrients. That is why I just added pulp-free Orange Juice to my Vodka.
"Of course you`re the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder" - alcohol
My favorite thing about naps is that I don`t have to talk to people during them
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the heck are you doing?
Drake isn`t even a rapper anymore. He`s an emotion, like "how are you doing today?" "idk im feeling kinda drake though"
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
Why don`t you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma
If there`s a bar where everybody knows your name, you`re probably an alcoholic.
Want someone to stop texting you? Sleep with them.
New philosophy on life: Do unto others, then run like hell.
A guy had his whole left side torn off, the doctor said he`s all right.