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Vegetables are a must on my diet. I am eating Carrot cake, Zucchini bread and Pumpkin pie.
Does the Food Network deliver?
"The more the merrier!" usually means "oh, you overheard us making those plans, huh?"
The one good thing about an egotist. They don`t talk about other people.
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.
I always wonder if the people sitting near me at church every Sunday are unsettled by the fact that I take my communion like a shot of cheap vodka because I`m still in a party mode
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
Steve Jobs` text was meant to say: "I reign as CEO of Apple" Iphone autocorrect strikes again!
Key to a great marriage ... Lack of imagination.
I have the worst case of morning sickness. No I am not pregnant, my body just rejects mornings.
People who spend their lives complaining how other people are doing nothing productive for society are doing nothing productive for society.
Never squat with your spurs on
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
Years ago I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today I asked her to marry me ... She said no both times