Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"My phone`s about to die." -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call
Just because they sell yoga pants in XXL doesn`t mean it`s ok to wear them in public.
Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts.
Black Friday, because after a day of thankfully stuffing your face, you deserve a deal on purchases you don’t need.
Social networking sites is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves
I got the girl to hysterically laugh today just by asking her out for a date.
I can tell a police officer is gay by the way he writes me a ticket instead of letting me off with a warning.
My online dating profile is just a picture of my ex-wife and the words "NOT THIS."
My grandparents still use encyclopedias to google stuff.
My neighbour has diabetes and now she won`t make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me.
Do you think that the guy that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! She must be losing it! Who threatens someone with a vacation?
I hate when people say, "I gotta get my body right for the summer." ...like, wtf are you going to do about your face???
Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.